Not the Hippies!
by ForThoseWhoLikeToMoveItMoveIt
Summary: "JUST KIDDING! WE'RE NEVER COMING BACK!" They're back! Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman have returned to the zoo and are beyond peeved at the penguins for leaving the four of them behind while they returned to the zoo with the lemurs! Created by RandomFanfictioner13 and myself.


"I never thought I'd see the day…" Skipper shook his head. "A pussycat gone off the deep end. What kind of world do we live in these days?"

"Um, the world doesn't look too great upside down, Skippah." Private called out as he swayed in his ankle traps that hung from the ceiling.

"Well whatever world we live in, it's a cold and dark one. It's one full of lonely nights and the deep darkness of the very soul….Kowalski! Options!" Skipper ordered.

Kowalski blinked, his flippers hanging limply below his head. "Well, Skipper, I…can't offer any options at the moment."

"And why not, soldier?"

"It seems that I've dropped my notebook."

Skipper narrowed his eyes. "Can you retrieve it and _then _give me those options?"

Kowalski, Private, Rico and Skipper looked down to see the small notebook being burned to ashes in the lava below them.

"Negative, Skipper." Kowalski replied. "And…let me be the first to say…" His bottom beak quivered and he burst into tears. "It's been an honor serving with you all these years!"

"Dangit soldier! Don't you do this!" Skipper scolded with his voice breaking a bit. "Don't you break down on me! We're going to make it out of this! You hear me?! Do you hear me?! Kowalski, you better hear me!"

"We're going to die!" Kowalski screamed, crying full force.

Seeing his friend crying like that got under Private's feathers and he too started to wail. "I'm scared, Skippah! I don't want to die!"

Rico started whining too.

"We're not going to die, men! Pull yourselves together! That's an order!" Skipper commanded and sighed because his team kept wailing. "Private! I'm warning you! They'll be no more Lunacorns for you in the future if you don't dry those waterworks!"

Private sniffed back his sobs. "There won't be any Lunacorns in my future anyhow Sk-Skippah….b-because…I won't even be in my own future! Ah!" He started hyperventilating.

"Oh come on! We can't be giving up that easily! Rico! Help me out here!" Skipper turned to their weapons expert for some help and reassurance.

"Bye-bye!" Rico mumbled sadly.

Skipper groaned.

"What's the matter, Skipper? Having trouble controlling your teamm?" Dr. Blowhole teased with a smirk.

"Butt out Blowhole! I said we're getting out of this and that's it!" Skipper yelled with a well-aimed glare towards the evil dolphin.

"Easily said than done, wouldn't you think?" The dolphin asked. "You've lost, Skipper. There is nothing for you silly peng-you-ins now. No help is coming and you're all out of options."

Skipper's frown deepened visibly.

"And it's all thanks to my little helper!" Dr. Blowhole marveled.

Rico scoffed. "Lil?" He exclaimed ridiculously. "Tha' no' lil! Tha' beeg!" He growled an impression as a model. "Beeg te'h!"

"Big tea?" Private questioned.

"No!" Rico answered.

"Big teeth?" Kowalski asked.

"Yah!" Rico nodded vigorously. "Beeg te'h!"

Skipper nodded. "Well I can't argue with you there. Cat need's to see a dentist or a shrink ray about that or something. It's just unnatural…"

Alex the Lion put his paw over his mouth, subconsciously, poking at his teeth. He groaned and asked. "Is there any way to, like, speed this thing up?"

"Ooh!" Dr. Blowhole smiled. "Someone's eager! But no! I want to savor this moment for as long as possible! It's not every day I get to see my mortal foes meet their doom."

"Uh, correction!" Alex said. "You mean _our_ mortal foes."

Blowhole chuckled and corrected. "Yes, of course. _Our._"

"You'll never get away with this!" Private yelled, voice shaking, still shedding tears that would just evaporate into the air, making his words all the less convincing. "You never have, never will!"

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, young Private." Blowhole said, getting as close to the penguins as the vat of lava underneath them would allow. "We will get away with this, and you will all meet your fiery doom! Nothing can stop this!" He cackled.

"You bully! You're nothing but a big bully!" Private cried. "You'll never amount to anything good! The Lunacorns have a saying for dolphins like you!"

Dr. Blowhole laughed at the young penguin. "And just what do the Lunacorns have to say about me?"

"Bad people will never ever be good and…" Private nodded as he spoke.

Skipper, Rico, Kowalski, Alex and Blowhole waited for the penguin to finish his saying but the end never came.

Blowhole nodded. "And? What else?"

Private looked less confident in what he was saying. "Well, I don't know rather. The day I was watching that episode on the telly was the day Rico got his new missile launcher and…I think you could understand the rest of that…"

"Kablam-o!" Rico exclaimed, laughing happily.

"That was you?!" Skipper asked angrily and Rico shrugged sheepishly.

"Sorreh!"

"You know what? I think we will speed this along…" Blowhole said coolly and ordered one of the many lobster henchmen to activate the death trap.

As the four penguins began to lower downwards together, the red lava was reflected into their eyes and their confidence of getting out of this one drained immensely. The lava hurled up and singed some of their feathers.

"Say good-bye _Skipper_." Blowhole taunted .

Skipper just stared down as their imminent fate drew closer every second, and as the cries of his men beat against his eardrums, the guilt finally wrecked into him that all of this was his entire fault.


End file.
